And I almost forgot~

After my night of "ideal wifing and mothering" I woke up and was greeted with this....

a happier (smelling) family

I bought perfume and my house is a better place.

I am not saying I was stinky before –

Something about being a mom has empowered something in me. I want to be June Cleaver. I don’t want to be Roseanne Barr. I want to vacuum in heels and I want the house to smell like cookies and pot roast and lavender.

I want to be “woman”. Not slouchy college girl.

So I bought perfume. And it’s changed me. And I think it changed my family too.

Yesterday, I took my hair out of the messy birds nest bun I usually have on the back of my head. I put on a pretty shirt, I put a roast and potatoes in the crock pot and I sprayed on my perfume. And you know what? I didn’t feel oppressed or unappreciated, or any of the things I thought I would feel. I felt awesome and strong and damn good at my job.

And I smelled good doing it.

Lessons from ceramic birds

I had my check declined at Walmart today.

I felt like a criminal.

They treated me like a criminal.

I acted like a criminal.

I had exactly 152.00 worth of groceries in my cart. Including the Greek yogurt and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream that Brady and I cant get enough of. I had steaks and soy milk and Kashi and cookies. I was friendly with the young couple behind me in line, and then I turned into a stuttering, angry piece of white trash. I demanded that they run it again. I SWORE I had money in my account, I said I had a baby at home and this was ridiculous.

I was ridiculous.

There was nothing they could do. I was advised to call my bank. Useless. It’s Sunday. In Utah.

Apparently when you report your credit card as stolen, they monitor you account closely and if too many transactions are made over a short period of time, they shut the whole thing down. locked. inaccessible. off limits. not fair.

I came home and ranted about the unfairness. I cried about how embarrassed I was and how mean they were… and I whined about the JERK who stole Brady’s wallet last week and made it so our account is locked. I told Brady all the horrible things I wanted to do to the piece who got into our car and decided he deserved to take what wasn’t his. I also told him that I would like to have a talk with the parents who taught him that the world was his oyster “finders keepers” “you can be (and have) anything you want” I wanted to punch Mr. Rogers for making a whole generation of entitled brats.

like me.

I went to the kitchen and looked up and saw this.

And not to get all preachy – but (of course) I thought of the Lillies and the Sparrows. They probably didn’t have Soy Milk and Kashi. No Ben and Jerry’s. So -- I cant have them today. Okay. I am taken care of.

And apparently the credit card thief is taken care of too. Maybe the tank of gas and the McDonalds they charged on our credit card was needed. Maybe it was desperation and not entitlement that made him (or her) take the wallet. I guess I shouldn’t hope people are desperate… but I also hope not everyone is spoiled.

like me.

cream of wheat for dinner.

I am embarrassed.
However, I have excuses.
Shortly after my last post, I threw up. I threw up everyday. I threw up popcorn, pizza, noodles and icecream.
I threw up in the car, in the sink on my lap and sidewalk.
I got heart burn. I got it from eating mexican food, chinese food, oatmeal, apples and water. I am pretty sure I got it from swallowing my own saliva.
I also got fat.
Then, on St. Patricks day...




I got this.